


War Stories

by DianneRose2016



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Crime, Drama, F/M, Mentions of Past Torture, PTSD, Romance, Sexual Content, Violence, medical operations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27905116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianneRose2016/pseuds/DianneRose2016
Summary: We don't know much about Jay's Ranger days or all of his skills. So I am creating connecting Oneshots that will feature a skill or story from Jay's Ranger days. Set in Season 7 and best to read all in order. It is time that the Intelligence Unit truly discovers just who Jay Halstead is and why he is considered a legend.
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 11
Kudos: 83





	War Stories

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a collection of oneshots that will feature Jay’s skills and background within the military. Set in Season 7 for characters, but it doesn’t follow an episode line. Some stories might touch base on an episode in mention, such as Hailey coming back and Jay’s bullet scar. Would recommend that you read them in order as a story could mention something that happened within a previous story.
> 
> Summary: When a suicide bomber holds the precinct hostage, trapping them inside with an injured officer. Jay has no choice but to dust off old skills that he never thought he would have to use. It’s on him to keep the officer alive until they can get him to med, but how will Jay hold up when memories from a time he would prefer to forget creep back up to the surface? Set after Hailey gets back from New York.

  
  


Jay sat at his desk and was doing his best to focus on the paperwork in front of him. He could hear Adam and Kevin joking back and forth on what they were going to do tonight. Jay wished that was the reason why he was having a harder time focusing on the paperwork, but it wasn’t. He had woken up feeling like crap and he knew he was getting sick or he was already sick. As the day went on he was coughing a lot more, his chest was tight, his head hurt and now he was wearing a jacket because he was freezing. He knew he was sick with something and he had a fever, he would need to go and see Will after work. He was hoping he could get in and out so he could get home to bed. A coughing fit hit Jay and it only put more tightness in his chest. 

A water bottle was placed down in front of him and he easily picked it up to take a drink. Once the coughing fit was done he looked up to see Hailey giving him a warm smile.

“You’ve been getting worse all day. Might be time to see Will.”

Hailey knew how much Jay hated being in the hospital. She had no idea why and she would never press for that answer. She figured Jay would tell her when he was ready, assuming it was connected to anything that happened during his time in the military. 

“I know. Will’s working today, I was gonna go see him before heading home.”

“Why don’t you head out now. I can finish up the paperwork.” Hailey offered.

Before Jay could even respond though the sound of panic screaming came up the stairs from down below in the precinct lobby. Everyone stood and headed out, Jay calling out as he did.

“Sarg.”

The sound of Jay’s tone in his voice had Voight springing into action. They all made their way down the stairs to see a man with a suicide vest on. Civilians were running out the front door while the officers had all pulled their guns. Jay’s training had him focusing in on the bomber, directly to the dead man switch in his hand and his thumb holding the button down.

“No one fires!” Jay yelled.

“He’s got a bomb!” An officer yelled.

“He’s got a dead man’s switch, you’ll blow us all up!” Jay yelled, as he moved closer.

“Everyone hold your fire!” Crawford ordered. He couldn’t believe he was in this situation, he was just coming by to congratulate Voight and Intelligence for their annual solve rate. He was not expecting to be walking into this.

“I’d do as he says. I got no problem dying today.” The bomber said, as the last civilian left the station.

“There’s a bomb on the back door.” An officer said, as he rounded the corner.

“There’s bombs on every door and window in this whole place.” The bomber said, as he placed one last bomb to the front door, locking them all in now.

“What do you want?” Voight asked, as he moved closer.

The bomber pulled a gun from behind his back and pointed it at a rookie officer, who was in plain clothes as he was about to leave for the day, before he fired, hitting him directly in the chest.

“Kenny!” Jackson yelled, his training officer.

“Hold!” Jay yelled.

All he wanted was to be able to go home and go to sleep. Now it was looking like he was going to die here today.

“Now that I have your attention. I want all of your weapons on the floor. Kick them over here, now.” The bomber demanded.

“That’s not happening.” Another officer said.

The very last thing Jay wanted was to give up his gun, but he knew there was nothing a gun could do in this situation. Everyone was on edge, but they didn’t truly understand the level of danger they were in. It wasn't even a bullet killing this bomber, it was a bullet hitting the vest or the bomb on the door to cause the whole place to go up, killing everyone in it. Cops were taught that you don’t give up your gun, but Jay knew there were times when you had no choice, this was one of those times. Jay pulled his gun out of its holster as he spoke.

“Give them up.” 

“You can’t be serious.” Another officer demanded.

Jay went and placed his gun down on the floor and kicked it towards the table on the other side of the room. He spoke as he looked at Voight. “Give em up.”

“Everyone guns down.” Voight ordered, as he removed his own gun to kick away. 

One by one everyone started to follow the order, including Crawford. You could tell none of them were happy, but they didn’t have a choice right now. The bomber had the control and there was nothing they could do about it. 

“Get down on the ground, now!” The bomber ordered.

Jay moved back to where the others in Intelligence were, it would give him a better position to make a move should he be able to. Voight made his way over to the opposite side of the room so he could have control over there, while Crawford moved towards more in the middle and spoke.

“Look, you’re in control here. But maybe you could tell us your name, why you’re doing this?” Crawford asked.

The odds of them getting him to surrender did not look good at all. They all knew it. Platt was over with Jackson putting pressure on Kenny’s chest. Jay could tell based on the amount of blood that an artery wasn’t hit, but he was in bad shape.

“It’s Marcus, and why is pretty simple. How many lives have the police destroyed? How many times have you shot someone innocent? How many times have you broken up families? You’re all corrupt and you deserve to die for your sins.” Marcus put his gun back where he originally had it, no longer needing it. He also pushed the safety button on the trigger and removed his thumb from the button.

“We gotta do something. Can’t we all charge at him, grab the trigger?” Adam whispered to Intelligence.

“There’s an art to it Ruze, especially with a dead man switch. A take down is usually done with three people, one on each side and one to make the kill shot.” Jay explained.

“We gotta do something. We can’t just sit here waiting to get blown up.” Adam argued back.

“We gotta wait for the right time. Otherwise we’ll be the reason everyone gets blown up.” Hailey said back.

Jay started to cough again and it tore through his body. He knew without a doubt he had pneumonia, how he got it he had no idea, but he was not looking forward to the next few weeks. Marcus turned to look at Jay as he went to grab his gun.

“Hey, you trying to communicate?” Marcus said with an edge to his voice. “Think you can come up with some type of plan and save the day?”

“He’s just sick. He’s been sick all day. No one is trying anything.” Voight instantly said, not wanting Jay to be shot.

He knew when he saw Jay this morning that he was not feeling well. It wasn’t often when Jay got sick, he knew from Erin that Jay took vitamins every day to keep his immune system up. So when Jay got sick, he got sick. He was going to send him home, but it was just paperwork today and he figured if Jay wanted to head out later he could. Now he was glad that Jay had stuck it out. Jay would have been around suicide bombers from his time in the army. They didn’t have anyone from the bomb squad here, so the next best option was Jay. Marcus put his gun away and turned his back to Jay’s half of the room.

Jay looked over at Voight on the other side of the room. He made a tissing sound to get his attention. Voight thankfully heard it and looked at him. Jay used two fingers and pointed them at his eyes before pointing in Voight’s direction, then made a talking signal with his hand. Jay knew that Voight would understand him, he normally did. Everyone on the team was pretty used to his hand signals, he didn’t think much about how they could understand him so well. Jay had always just been thankful that they did. 

“Why don’t we talk this out?” Voight said, trying to get Marcus’ attention on him. He wasn’t sure what Jay’s plan was, but he knew that Jay must have had a plan if he wanted Marcus’ attention away from the room.

Voight didn’t know too much about suicide vests, he knew that you needed to avoid them and that generally it takes two or three guys to take the man down with a dead man switch. Marcus had his hand wrapped tightly around the device, but his thumb wasn’t hovering over the trigger at least. Voight was hoping that meant they had a chance to talk him down. 

“There is nothing to talk out. I told you, I am going to make sure every cop in this city pays for their sins.” 

Jay knew there was no way in hell they were going to be able to talk him down. He was here on a mission, a mission Jay had heard a hundred times. Marcus had zero interest in leaving here alive today. He was looking to make a statement and what better way to achieve that then to blow up an entire police station filled with cops. 

Jay moved and grabbed his military knife from his right boot. Adam shared a confused look with Kevin and Kim as they had no idea he even had a knife in his boot. A quick look at Hailey told them she wasn’t surprised at all. Jay put his finger up to his mouth and looked around the room, making sure everyone knew not to make a sound. One sound and all of this could go a completely different way. Jay wanted to be home in his bed after this and not in some box. Once Jay was confident that Marcus was keeping his attention on Voight he slowly stood up. He had to be fast, but quiet. This was normally a two man job, but Jay didn’t have someone else that he would be able to do this with. Normally it was him and Mouse that would take down a suicide bomber. 

Once Jay was close enough he grabbed Marcus’ right wrist and put pressure on his tendon and that caused him to drop the dead man switch. Marcus also turned to look at who grabbed him and before he was even able to process what was happening Jay had moved him against the wall and shoved the knife up from the bottom of his jaw up into his head. Jay closed his eyes for a second as the blood sprayed out and got on his face slightly. Jay held him against the wall and twisted the knife, killing the man. Voight was there beside him and helped him to slowly lower the man who was now dead down. 

“Watch the vest, we need to lay him flat so we don’t trigger anything inside of it.” Jay said.

“Let’s check on everyone in the building. Do not engage with any of the bombs, only go where you have access to.” Crawford ordered. 

“No cell phones or radios, you could activate the bombs.” Jay added.

“If we can’t use them, then how do we call the bomb squad? How do we call for help?” An officer asked.

“He’s losing too much blood, we gotta get him out of here.” Training Officer Jackson said, as he applied pressure to the rookie’s chest, his current trainee.

“Let’s get him up on a table.” Jay said, as he started to take control of the situation.

He knew he was out ranked by a few people here, but this wasn’t a typical situation and it was similar to a situation he had been through. Kevin and Adam pulled over a couple of tables to make them wide enough for the rookie to be on.

Platt and Jackson picked up Kenny and placed him down on the table as Jay spoke to Hailey.

“I need my kit in the bottom of my locker.”

Hailey gave a nod and headed back up the stairs as Jay went over to look at the bullet wound in Kenny’s chest. Platt, Jackosn, Voight and Crawford all gathered around to see how bad it was.

“I didn’t know you had medical training.” Crawford said.

“I was my team’s backup medic.” Jay said, as he examined the wound.

It was in his heart, he was losing a lot of blood and fast. He didn’t have thirty minutes if they did nothing for him. 

“In the Rangers right?” Crawford asked.

Jay just hummed and hoped that would work as an answer. The bullet went through Kenny’s chest plate and into his heart. Jay knew though that the bullet would have splinted and it would have gone right into his heart. Hailey came back into the lobby and placed Jay’s bag down on the table. Jay opened it and took out his stethoscope and started to listen to Kenny’s heart and breathing. None of it sounded good. After a moment Jay put his stethoscope around his neck as he spoke to Jackson.

“Keep pressure on the wound.”

Jay gave a nod to the others to move them away from listening ears that were all around them right now. Crawford, Voight, Platt and Hailey followed Jay over to the stairs going up to Intelligence. 

“How bad?” Voight asked.

“He’s got thirty minutes, max. The bullet hit his chest plate and it would have splintered the bullet. He’s got pieces in his heart. No artery has been hit, at least not fully or he would be dead by now.”

“Ok, so we have to figure out how to get one of the bombs deactivated.” Crawford said.

“We don’t have anyone trained in here to deactivate bombs.” Platt instantly said.

“I am not a bomb expert, but the EOD in my unit had one rule for us. Never try to deactivate a bomb with a mercury switch unless you were looking to die. Each one that I can see, has one right on top of it. The mercury moves even slightly and we all go boom and trust me when I say that going boom really sucks.”

Jay rubbed a hand over his forehead. His head was killing him and his chest was just as tight as before. He wanted his bed and to sleep the next three days away.

“You alright? You’ve been getting sicker all day.” Voight said.

“Headache. There’s no way any of us are going to be able to deactivate the bombs.” 

“Ok, so we can’t deactivate them. Maybe there is a spot that the bomber missed and we can get out.” Platt said.

“And we can send people to look, but Kenny needs treatment now and even then there’s a high chance he’s going to die.” Jay said.

“You were a medic, is there anything you can do to better his odds?” Crawford asked.

“He needs surgery and he needs it now. The only chance he has of even making it to Med is if I operate on him right here, right now.”

“Heart surgery? Jay have you ever done anything like that before?” Hailey asked shocked.

“Once.”

“We’re not equipped for anything like that. Not to mention the liability if this goes sideways.” Crawford said.

“I get it, but it’s either I try to repair the damage or we all stand around and watch him bleed out. We don’t have a choice.” Jay said.

He didn’t want to do this. He was freaking out inside and doing everything he could to fight off the memories that were threatening to invade his thoughts. He had to fight through it, this kid needed to have a chance at making it to med and right now he was that kid’s only chance. 

“Alright, do it.” Crawford said.

“What do you need?” Voight asked.

“A lot.” Jay said, as he went back over to the table, the others followed him.

“I need all of the medical kits we can get to. A large bucket with cold water in it, a hammer, a tablet.” Jay said to everyone, before he turned to face Crawford. “I also need access to the drug vault.”

“What do you need out of it?” Crawford asked.

“Anything that will work as a sedative and speed. If it’s not in liquid form I’ll need a few needles, a lighter and a spoon.”

“Adam go grab the drugs.” Voight ordered.

Adam gave a nod and headed off. 

“We have to figure out how to get out of here.” Jackson said. He hadn’t lost a partner and he wasn’t about to let that happen now.

“We can’t get out without setting off the bombs.” Voight said, as Jay went and got the things he needed within his kit.

“I want people searching the building for a way out. Be careful, we get one of those bombs to go off, it could make all of the bombs go.” Platt said to the room.

Officers within the room headed out, some went to look for a way out while others went to collect what Jay needed. 

“Commander, how are we going to get a signal out for help if we can’t get out?” Jackson asked.

“We can’t use cell phones or radios, what about the landlines?” Crawford asked Platt.

“Um.” Platt said, as she went around the desk and picked up the phone, but there was no dial tone. “It’s dead, he’s either cut the lines or blocked the signal somehow.” 

“Then we have to deactivate one of the bombs.” Jackson said.

“We can’t. There’s a mercury switch in them, one wrong move and we’ll kill every single person in this building, and possibly the ones next to us. Not to mention anyone that is outside at the time.” Jay said, as he went to work on getting what he needed set up. He didn’t have any gloves though in his bag. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Jackson asked.

“I left my gloves in my truck, Hail, is there any upstairs?” Jay asked, ignoring Jackson. The answer was not going to help anyone.

“No I checked.” 

“We got gloves back here.” Platt said, as she started to look for the box.

“He’s allergic to latex.” Hailey supplied.

“Ours are all latex back here.” Platt said, without even having to look. 

“Hand sanitizer?” Jay asked.

“Yup, we got that.” Platt said, as she went to grab what they had.

“Jay, what are you doing?” Voight asked calmly. He knew that this was going to be a lot for Jay and he was worried about what this could be doing to Jay’s mental health. 

“He’s losing too much blood and unless we can replace it he’s never going to survive. We have no idea what his blood type is or whose anyone else’s is, so a blood transfusion is out. I’m going to give him a blood transfusion using his own blood.” Jay answered as he got the tube ready and inserted the needle to an IV line into Kenny and the blood started to collect in the attached bag. 

Jay then got to work on getting an IV line going into Kenny so he could attach an IV bag and the blood bag. Once the blood bag was filled he detached it and attached it to the IV line before adding another collection bag. 

“Hold this up.” Jay said, as he held it out to an officer to take.

“Got the drugs.” Adam said, as he walked back in. “It’s powder so I got the other supplies you needed.”

“Got the medical bags Sarg.” An officer said, as he joined the others.

Jay took one of the bags and started to grab what he needed from it as he spoke. “Adam, can you melt it down for a shot?”

“Ah, ya...ya I can do that. How much in the shot?” Adam said, as his mind worked on figuring out the process.

“As much as you can do.” Jay handed the IV bag to the officer that was already holding the blood bag.

Jay then went and grabbed the intubation kit and ambu bag so he could get Kenny intubated. Hailey went over to Jay to see if there was anything she could do to help him.

“What do you need?” Hailey asked softly.

“A heart surgeon to magically appear in the lobby.” Jay said with a small smirk so Hailey knew he wasn’t being snippy with her.

“Sorry, I gave up learning magic when I was four.” Hailey said with her traditional smirk.

“Oh there’s got to be a story there.” Jay said as he picked up the scope. He hadn’t done this in over ten years and Jay was really hoping he would be able to still do this. 

“What are you doing?” Jackson demanded.

“Intubating him.” Jay said with a sharpness to his voice. Those that knew him knew he was not in the mood for questions right now.

Jackson shot his hand out just as Jay was about to insert the tube, stopping him from proceeding. “No way. When was the last time you even did something like this? You’re a cop not a doctor.”

“Look around, do you see a doctor here? Do you see anyone in this building that would know more about this than me? Believe me I would love for there to be one goddamn person in this place that could be doing this instead of me, but there isn’t. You need to let me work so he doesn’t die on this table.” Jay said with an edge to his voice. The very last thing he needed was dealing with opinions right now. 

“You gotta let him work Jackson. Kenny needs help and Jay is the only option he has right now. Let him work.” Platt said, as she tried to rein him back in. She knew emotions were high and everyone was worried, but she also knew pushing Jay was a terrible idea.

Jay went back to focusing on getting the tube into Kenny’s throat. It had been a long time since he had done this and he was doing everything in his power to not remember the last time he had to do this. Jay could not be thinking about that right now, but the memory was pushing against his walls. Jay slid the tube slowly down Kenny’s throat using every ounce of strength that he had to keep the memories locked away until it was safe to let them out. Once the tube was in Jay attached the ambu bag and put the stethoscope back on. He listened to Kenny’s lungs as he squeezed the bag. After a moment he removed the stethoscope and spoke.

“I’m in. I need someone to squeeze the bag, someone who isn’t going to pass out at the sight of blood.” 

“Ya I got it.” Rojas easily said. 

She went around and Jay showed her how to do it before she took over. With nothing left to do Jay knew now was the time to actually operate. He used the hand sanitizer and rubbed it all over the hammer and then his hands. 

“Here’s the tablet.” Another officer said.

“Hail, get into my Facebook account and start video calling Will.” Jay said, as he started to lay everything out for the operation. 

Hailey took the tablet and immediately got started on what Jay asked.

“We need to get out of here.” Jackson said,

“Jackson, I swear to god if you tell me that one more time I’m knocking your ass out. Either shut up or go somewhere else.” Jay snapped, as he got up onto the table and straddled Kenny’s hips.

“You don’t get to talk to me that way. I don’t care if you out rank me, that is my rookie. You’re not going to dismiss me.” Jackson said right back.

“But I can. Shut the hell up.” Voight snapped himself. 

The last thing Jay needed right now, what any of them needed, was someone arguing and trying to start something. Right now Jay was the only person who could save Kenny and he did not need more stress to go with it. 

“He’s not answering.” Hailey said.

“Keep calling, he will.” Jay said calmly to her. “Alright, I need someone to assist me.” 

“Tell me what you need.” Voight easily said.

“Get some gloves on and be ready for the blood.”

Jay ripped off Kenny’s shirt, forcing Jackson to move his hands from the bleeding before he quickly put them back. Jay picked up the syringe and gave Kenny half of it for now. Jay then picked up the scalpel in his kit and opened it. He went and placed it against the top of Kenny’s sternum and just when he was about to cut Jackson grabbed his wrist. 

“You really don’t want to touch him dog.” Kevin said, as he snapped out to grab Jackson’s wrist.

Jay turned his head to look at Jackson and everyone could tell he was not happy about the contact. “You have two choices, you either let my wrist go, back the fuck up and let me do what I can to try and save his life. Or I break it, knock you out and go back to trying to save his life. Your choice.”

“He really will, so I strongly suggest you let him go Jackson.” Platt said.

“You can’t operate on him, you’re not a doctor.” Jackson argued.

“I’ve assisted on this surgery before. I’ve helped do many different surgeries and once Hailey gets Will on the line he can have a Doc there walk me through. He’s dying Jackson, we can either stand around and watch him die or we can try and save him. You need to let me do this and I need you to not freak out on me every time I have to do something. We don’t have the time, Kenny doesn’t have the time.” Jay said with as much patiences as he could muster.

Jackson looked down at Kenny and he could see that Jay was right, but that didn’t make this any easier. Jackson removed his hand from Jay’s wrist and Jay spoke.

“Kev, get some gloves on I’m gonna need you to help hold him open.”

Kevin grabbed a pair of gloves and threw them on. He moved over closer to Jay as Jackson moved further up towards Hailey to give them enough room. Jay then went and started to make the cut. He cut down the center of Kenny’s chest to the bottom of his chest plate. He had to cut through the different layers of skin and there was already blood pooling around the sides of him. Once he was all the way down to the bone he spoke.

“Alright, Sarg and Kev, I need you both to grab one side of his chest and pull it as far back as you can.”

Both Voight and Kevin did as they were instructed and Jay went and picked up the hammer. This was not in any way shape or form how you would do it in an operating room, but in an operating room they would have a bone saw. Jaw didn’t have that, all he had was a hammer and they had to get to his heart. This was not going to make for a fun recovery for Kenny if he survived, but Jay had to push that all away. All that mattered was getting Kenny to the hospital. With a final breath out Jay raised his arm up and slammed the hammer down onto Kenny’s top rib right where it connected to his chest plate. The sound of bone being crushed echoed all along the walls of the precinct and no one dared to say anything. This was horrible for them to see, but they all knew it had to be done. Jay had to get access to Kenny’s heart, it was the only way. Jay made the quick process of breaking apart Kenny’s chest plate from his ribs and once it was free he placed it into the bucket with water to keep the bone from drying out. With his heart free Jay was now able to focus on the bullet wound. 

“It splintered, I’m seeing multiple impact wounds to his heart. His left valve is in shreds.” Jay said, as he moved the blood away from his heart that was pooling.

“What do you need?” Voight asked.

“You can let go, Kev, keep your side open. Grab some gauze.” Jay said, as he picked up some and started to soak up what blood he could.

Voight handed Jay what he needed and passed Jay some clamps when he asked for it. Jay knew he had to try and slow the bleeding down. He needed to take care of the valve first and that would help to keep some blood in Kenny. The problem was, the valve was in shreds. It was completely destroyed. 

“I got him.” Hailey said, as the video call started to connect.

“Thank fuck.” Jay said, under his breath but the people near him heard it.

“What?” Will said, as the call connected. He was expecting for it to be Jay and not Hailey. 

Hailey just gave him a smile as she spoke. “Jay is fine, but we have a problem.”

Hailey hit the button on the camera to flip it around so Will could see Jay.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Will asked, shocked.

“Suicide bomber came into the station, put bombs on all the windows and doors and locked us in here. Bomb shot a rookie, bomber is dead, but he wasn’t wearing a vest. The bullet splintered into his heart, I’m seeing six pieces. His left valve is shredded. We’re stuck in here. I need you to get someone on the phone with bomb squad and walk me through how to keep him from dying.” Jay explained.

“Alright hang on, I’m going to call you right back from a computer. I’ll get Ethan on the phone with bomb squad and get Dr. Marcel here. Just give me ninety seconds.” Will said, calmly. 

Jay gave a nod and the call ended. Jay focused on trying to slow the bleeding down with using the clamps and waited for when Will would be back. Ninety seconds had never felt so long before in his life, but the tablet started to ring and Hailey instantly was hitting the button. Jay could see Will was standing at a computer now and Ethan was already on his phone.

“Bomb Squad wants a photo. Can you take one and send it?” Ethan said.

“Ya, I’ll do that real quick right now.” Hailey said.

She took the tablet over to the front door, snapped a pick and sent it to the chat option within the video call. Will would be able to send it to whoever needed it. She then went back over to Jay as Will spoke.

“Dr. Marcel is in the middle of surgery on a ten year old. He’ll be down when he is finished. Hailey, can you move the tablet closer so I can get a solid look at the heart please.” 

Hailey moved the tablet closer so Will could have a proper look at Kenny’s heart. 

“Jay, what did you give him to keep him under? And how are you handling the blood loss?”

“We raided the drug vault and grabbed speed and a sedative. I also did a field direct transfusion utilizing his own blood.”

“Where are your gloves?”

“In my truck.” Jay answered, before he turned his head and coughed a few times into his elbow.

“That doesn’t sound good. Ok, first thing you need to do is stop the bulk of the bleeding by closing off his valve. Do you have surgical glue in your kit?”

“No.”

“Is there any glue or liquid bandaid in the area of the station you can get to?”

“We have some liquid bandaid.” Platt answered, as she went to grab it from a kit behind the desk.

“Jay, use the liquid bandaid and just put the pieces of the valve back together as best as you can. It doesn’t have to be functional, you just need to make sure the blood stops coming out of it. Once you have it sealed, then suture it so it will last until he can be in the OR. It doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to last.” Will explained.

Platt handed him the liquid bandaid and Jay went about trying to get the valve put back together. 

“The bomb squad is on the way and they are going to try and see what they can do to get you in. They are going to have fire and a bus on standby for you.” Ethan said.

“Thanks Doc.” Voight said.

“Voight, while Jay is trying to get the valve sealed up. Go in there with gauze to try and soak up as much blood as you can. It will help dry the liquid bandaid faster.” Will said.

Voight did as he was instructed and together they were able to get the valve sealed and Jay started to stitch it closed. He kept having to turn away and cough and he could feel his fever getting worse.

“I don’t like that cough Jay. How long have you been sick?” Will asked, being gentle with his voice. He didn’t want Jay to think he was lecturing him at all.

“This morning. I was on my way to see you when everything popped off.”

“He’s been getting worse all day. The cough is a lot worse now and he had been shivering all day.” Hailey added.

“Jay, I need to see your eyes.”

Hailey moved the tablet closer and Jay looked at the camera for a moment before going back to the task at hand.

“You have a fever, at least a hundred and three based on your eyes. You need meds, are there any over the counter meds there?” Will said, not happy that Jay was sick.

“I got some Motrin.” Platt answered.

“That’ll work, two please.” Will said.

Platt went and grabbed them before she spoke.

“Do you need water?”

“Naw I’m good.” 

Platt grabbed them and went back over to Jay. Platt had the two pills in her hand as she spoke. “Open.”

Jay opened his mouth and Platt dropped the pills into his mouth. Jay easily dry swallowed them before he spoke. “Thanks.”

Jay finished the sutures and now it was time to turn to the bullet pieces.

“I don’t see any in his arteries and they don’t look too deep.” Jay said.

“They don’t look that deep to me. Be careful with pulling them out. Go one at a time, you’ve done this before.” Will said, supportively.

“Bomb squad needs someone on the inside to talk with. Do you have another tablet that you can use?” Ethan asked.

“We have one in my office. I can grab it.” An officer said.

“Do that.” Crawford ordered.

Jay focused on getting the bullet pieces out of Kenny’s heart. He was seriously starting to feel like shit and all he wanted to do was get some sleep. 

“If you are going to be operating, I should start doing your job and kick some doors down.” Will joked.

Jay couldn’t help but smile at that. “I would love to see you kick a door down.”

“Don’t think I can do it?” Will challenged.

“I don’t know, it might ruin that pedicure of yours.” Jay teased.

“Health is from the top down. There is nothing wrong with a man getting a mani, pedi.”

“Such a delicate flower. How did you ever survive in the Sudan?” 

“I stayed in the tent.” Will said with a smile.

Jay shook his head. Leave it to Will to help make his mind quiet down and make him feel better. He always knew what to say to him or how to make him feel better. The officer came back with the tablet and Adam took it so he could communicate with the bomb squad sergeant so he could hopefully get the bomb deactivated and get them out of here. It was a good three hours later when Jay had finished getting the bullet pieces out of Kenny.

“Good job little brother. Now all you have to do is stitch him close and he is ready for transport.”

“How much longer Ruze?” Jay asked.

“We got ten minutes or so before we are out of here.” Adam answered.

He had been working with Crawford and a few other officers with getting the bomb cold so it would not go off when they deactivated it. It was almost there and then he would pull the detonation cords from it and then the front door could be open. It was fifteen minutes later when Jay had finished the sutures and Adam was just finishing up the bomb deactivated.

“Alright, that’s it. He’s good for travel.” Jay said as he sat back.

The whole whole station started to clap and Platt placed a hand on Jay’s back to show her support. Jay got off the table and from Kenny and stood up as Will spoke.

“Nice work little brother. I’ll be here when you come in. I gotta check you over, it sounds like you might have pneumonia. You both are going to need some antibiotics.”

“We’re good.” Adam called out, as he opened the front door. 

They were finally going to be getting out of here and Jay could not wait until he could get home. 

XXX

With Kenny in the hands of the paramedics Jay turned and headed towards the stairs. Platt reached over and hit the buzzer so Jay wouldn’t have to use the palm scanner with the blood all over his hands. Jay headed straight for the bathroom where he could try to get the blood off from him, but he also needed a minute. Now that the adrenaline was leaving his body, his walls that were keeping the memories at bay were cracking. Jay put his hands down on the edge of the sink and held his head down as he fought to get his breathing under control. His body was trembling between the fever and anxiety that was creeping in. Jay was trying with everything in him to get his body to calm back down. He heard the door to the locker room open and he was really hoping it wasn’t one of the guys right now. He had his eyes closed, but he knew by the sound of her walk and the smell of her perfume who it was. 

Hailey went over behind Jay and wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned down to kiss the back of Jay’s neck before she spoke. “Just breathe. You’re ok.”

Hailey had seen how much of a toll this day had been taking on Jay. He was able to push through and save Kenny’s life, but that didn’t mean he was walking away unscathed. Jay was struggling with memories from his time overseas and Hailey was hoping to help get him through this. Hailey kept her arms wrapped around Jay’s torso and placed her head on his back and just held him. He didn’t need her to say any words, all he needed was for her to hold onto him and let him feel the comfort she had to offer. Hailey rubbed her hand over Jay’s chest as she felt his breathing start to hitch. She knew he was silently crying and she wished she could take this pain away from him. She had only ever seen him close to tears once in the time she had known him. That was back earlier this year when he found the two boys killed in the stash house. For someone who had demons and had seen the worst this world had to offer, Jay was incredibly strong.

It took a good five minutes before Jay was able to get his emotions back under control and able to stop the tears. Hailey placed one last kiss to the back of his neck before she moved around and grabbed some paper towel to help get the blood off his face. She turned the water on and made sure it was nice and warm before she wet the paper towel and Jay placed his shaky hands under the tap to get them cleaned. Jay knew they wouldn’t come clean perfectly. His hands would be stained red from the blood for a few days. A constant reminder of this horrible day. Once they were as clean as they were going to get he dried them off, as Hailey grabbed a clean piece of paper towel and wet it once again. With the blood all gone from Jay’s face, she then dabbed it over his cheeks and forehead to help not only with the redness from crying, but to help with his fever. She could feel the heat radiating off of him when she was hugging him. 

“Thanks Hails.” Jay said with a raspy voice.

Hailey gave him a warm smile as she tossed the paper towel into the garbage. “Always.”

“Not quite the first day back you were expecting eh?” Jay said with a small smirk.

“Well it wasn’t boring.” Hailey said with a smirk. “It sucks that you don’t feel well. It’s not like you to get sick.”

“I was teaching a class for long-range shots on the weekend, it started to pour rain but we didn’t call it quits. It was an Army class so they don’t quit in the rain. I thought I was fine.”

“I didn’t know your class was for the army. Do you normally teach there?” Hailey asked, slightly surprised by that.

“Ya I’ve been doing it since I got out. I’m an Army Consultant for courses and Army Intelligence. When people that were in black ops get discharged, if it’s an honorable discharge and they have highly valuable skills then they go into a consultant position. I never have to go overseas, but I do go to the base and do some courses in hand to hand, long-range shooting and tactical strategies.”

“Ok, I want to talk more about that later. For now, you need to get to Med to get checked out and then to bed.” Hailey said with a warm smile.

Jay just gave a nod and together they headed out of the locker room and into the bullpen. Everyone was there and you could tell that emotions were still running high. It had been a hell of a few hours on everyone. Voight went over to Jay and opened his arms. It wasn’t often when Voight would give him a hug, Voight knew that Jay wasn’t really one for touching, but after what just happened the situation called for it. Jay easily accepted the hug and took the comfort in. Being hugged by Voight always reminded Jay of what it felt like to be hugged by a father. There was a love there, despite the differences they have had, there was a love there. Jay pulled back and Voight placed his hand on the back of his neck and ran his thumb over his cheek as he spoke.

“You did good. I’m proud of you kid.” 

“Thanks Sarg.” Jay said and then cleared his throat.

Voight gave him a warm smile before he pulled back. 

“Here man.” Adam said, as he held out Jay’s jacket that he took off downstairs.

“Thanks Ruze.” Jay said, as he happily took his jacket and put his on. 

“I have to say, that was wild.” Rojas said with a big smile.

“That was intense.” Kim agreed.

“Bomb squad?” Jay asked Voight.

“They want us to clear out before they start disarming the other bombs. Crawford also said you can take as much time that you need for medical.” Voight explained.

Jay gave a nod and they could tell he was not feeling good at all.

“We should head out, you need to get checked over and bomb squad can’t get the bombs deactivated until we leave.” Hailey said.

They all grabbed their things and headed out. Jay made his way to his truck and Hailey tossed her keys to Rojas so she could drive her car as she headed for Jay’s truck with him. Jay got in and was not surprised to see Hailey getting into the passenger seat. 

“You ok to drive?” 

“Ya I’m good.” Jay answered as he started his truck and they were out of there.

Hailey didn’t talk, she knew when Jay needed some time to get his thoughts and emotions back in order. She knew he was struggling with this and it would take a few days for his mind to start to heal from this, but it would heal. She knew without a doubt that he would bounce back from this. Jay was a warrior and he was not about to go down now. When they arrived at Med, they headed in and were not surprised to see the waiting room full of cops. Jay headed over to the nurses’ desk and he saw Will coming out of a trauma room. Will gave him a warm smile as he used the hand sanitizer and made his way over to his brother. All of the nurses and doctors saw Jay and they clapped to show their support and pride in what he had just done. Jay gave a shy smile and wave of thanks to everyone as Will reached him. Will instantly pulled Jay in for a hug, one he more than happily returned. There had always been something about Will that grounded him. No matter how bad things were, Will could always bring him back down. Jay placed his head down on Will’s shoulder facing his neck as Will placed his hand on the back of Jay’s head. He knew that today was hard on Jay and he was more than happy to offer whatever comfort he could. 

After a moment Jay pulled back and Will gave him a warm smile. He kept his hand on Jay’s back as he spoke. “Come on, let’s get you checked out and I got something that will get rid of the blood.”

Will guided Jay over to the empty trauma room and Jay sat down on the bed. Will went and grabbed the blood cleaner and handed it over to Jay as he spoke.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired, cold, my chest hurts. Honestly, I just feel like shit.” Jay answered, as he wiped his hands. 

Will grabbed the thermometer and ran it over Jay’s forehead to see how bad the fever was. He could tell Jay was sick, he looked terrible. He was pale, shaky and he was moving stiffly, telling Will he was sore.

“102.8, that’s pretty high Jay. I’ll need to give you some meds to get that down. I gotta listen to your chest.” Will said, as he unzipped Jay’s jacket.

He put his stethoscope on and Jay did his best to breathe deeply for Will, but it only resulted in a coughing fit. Will could hear how congested they sounded. Will stepped back slightly but kept his hand on Jay’s back as he continued to cough. Once Jay stopped coughing Will spoke.

“You have pneumonia. I’ll need to get you on a set of antibiotics to take. You know the drill you’ve had it four times now in the past ten years. I am worried though with your fever being high and you are really congested and dehydrated, I’d like to get an IV into you to help give you fluids and a kick start with the antibiotics.” 

“No needles, not today Will please.”

That was the last thing Jay could handle right now. He was just so tired and done. He wanted his bed to curl up and be miserable in. 

“I know, you don’t have to be awake for it. We can use the gas like we’ve done before. You can be asleep for an hour and when you wake up there won’t be any needles. I won’t put one in until you are asleep. You won’t even know it I promise. Then afterwards you can go home and sleep as much as you want. The IV will give you some fluids that you desperately need and I should be able to get your fever down. Can you give me an hour please?” Will asked gently. He knew Jay hated needles and he hated being in a hospital. He respected that and did what he could to avoid both of those things for Jay, but right now he really did need the IV.

Jay knew Will would respect his decision if he said no, but he also knew that Will was only trying to do what was best for him. Whenever he was hurt or sick he always went to Will, because he did know how to make it better. Jay gave a nod and Will gave him a warm smile. 

“I need to take your jacket off, your fever is too high.”

Jay gave a nod and removed his jacket as Will got what he needed. Once Will had the gas mask he turned back to Jay. Jay went and laid down on his left side and Will moved the back of the bed up slightly to help with Jay’s cough. Will then turned the gas on and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Ok, you know the drill. Relax and breathe as deep as you can.” Will said gently as he placed the mask over Jay’s nose and mouth. He held it though knowing that Jay hated having anything tight over his face. Will also placed his hand on Jay’s back so he could feel the comfort. 

Jay breathed in the gas and within ten seconds his eyes were closed. Will kept the mask on Jay’s face though for another few minutes to make sure that Jay would stay asleep for an hour. Once Will was certain Jay was good he removed the mask and turned the gas off. He then made quick work of getting the IV in and got the shot of antibiotic as well as a shot of motrin to try and lower his fever. With that set up he then removed the items from his doctor’s coat and put them in his scrub pockets before he removed his coat and draped it over Jay’s body. Will knew that Jay would wake up confused, but if he could smell him then he would calm down. It was something that they discovered after Will moved back to Chicago. Whenever Jay couldn’t sleep he could always fall asleep if he smelt Will. His mind was able to connect him to being home safe in Chicago and not in Afghanistan if he could smell Will’s scent. 

Will headed out and checked in real quick with Marcel to see how the operation was going. He knew it hadn’t even been an hour since Kenny had arrived, but he wanted to touch base and check on the progress. He knew everyone would be anxious for an update, even if the update was that his heart was still beating. 

“Dr. Marcel, how is it looking?” Will asked from the inside of the door as he held a mask over his face.

“I’ve only had time to really get in and do damage assessment. I can tell you that your brother did a really good job. He kept him alive and was able to keep his blood intake high. He did really good work. When he feels up to it, I’m buying him a drink.”

“Thanks Crockett. I’ll let them know that he’s still holding on.”

Will headed back out and walked into the waiting room to see a lot of cops here. He remembered how it felt to walk out and see them all after Jay had been shot. It was a comfort to know how many people truly loved and respected Jay. If something were to happen, Will wouldn’t be alone to handle the grief. As he walked in, everyone turned to face him.

“There isn’t much of an update with Officer Watson, but Dr. Marcel said he was still holding on and he didn’t lose much blood thanks to Jay’s field transfusion. He’s working on repairing the damage now, but it’s still going to be a long wait.”

“If he makes it, could he still return to work?” Jackson asked.

“I can’t answer that. It depends on how the surgery goes and what type of heart valve that is used to replace his current one. If he survives and makes a full recovery he could return to work yes, but it might be a desk job over an active role. I think what is important right now is just focusing on him surviving from his injuries. He’s only twenty-three, so he’s young and healthy, he’s got a chance. Everything else can be figured out afterwards.”

“Thanks Will.” Platt said on their behalf.

Will made his way over to the Intelligence group to speak to them about Jay. He knew they would be wondering where he was. Platt joined them as well.

“How’s Jay?” Hailey asked.

“He’s got pneumonia. He’ll need to be on an antibiotic for two weeks and for the next month or so he’s going to have to be on desk duty. His lungs need time to heal, realistically he’ll be on desk duty for six weeks possibly eight.” Will started.

“Why so long?” Adam asked, confused.

“When a normal healthy person gets pneumonia it can take a good month before you are back to being healthy. However, due to inhaling toxic fumes from burning bodies and burning chemicals Jay’s lungs are more susceptible to lung infections. They have some damage to them that doesn’t affect his job, but makes illnesses like pneumonia harder for his body to fight against. He’ll recover, but it will take him a good two months before he is no longer coughing and back to being healthy again. If he’s not coughing then he can go back to active duty.” Will explained.

“I don’t see that going well with him.” Kim said.

“This is the fifth time in ten years Jay’s gotten pneumonia, he knows the drill and he knows how dangerous it can be if he pushes himself and goes back to work too early. He’s not going to risk having to be hospitalized and on a ventilator. He’s very cautious when it comes to his lungs and health when he’s sick.” Will said on Jay’s behalf.

“He’s been cleared to take all the medical leave he needs. Paperwork will be in tomorrow morning, he can take all the time he needs.” Voight easily said.

He wasn’t about to risk pushing Jay when he wasn’t ready. Especially now that they know his lungs were damaged from his time overseas.

“Where is he?” Kevin asked. 

“He had a fever of almost 103 so I gave him an IV to get some fluids into him and an IV for an antibiotic to help fight off the pneumonia. He’s sedated in trauma one for the next hour. Afterwards he can go home and rest.”

“Wait, you sedated him for an IV? I get the man doesn’t like needles but that seems a bit extreme.” Rojas said.

“I kinda gotta agree. That does seem like too much for a guy that has a slight fear of needles.” Adam added.

Will was quiet for a moment. He knew they had no idea how wrong what they just said was. They didn’t know Jay before he was in Intelligence. They didn’t know him when he got off that plane for the last time.

“When someone has to get their blood taken they either do one of two things. They look away or they watch.” Will started.

“Jay looked away.” Kim stated.

“Jay watched. He thought it was the coolest thing. Even when he had to get stitches he would watch. It never phased him. He had to get vaccines and boosters, the flu shot every year he was in the military. It never bothered him. When Jay got back from his last tour is when that changed. Jay doesn’t have a fear of needles, he has a trauma and that is a side effect of his trauma. I didn’t understand how serious it was at first either. I was annoyed when I had to come down from New York just to drag him to a doctor’s appointment that he had continued to cancel. I lectured him about being irresponsible and told him to man up. And I didn’t realise how wrong I was, how bad it was until he had a full blown panic attack standing outside of the hospital. He physically couldn’t go in. He couldn’t be around the needles. He couldn’t be in a place where he would be touched by strangers. Whatever happened to him overseas was so bad, so traumatic that he physically couldn’t even walk into the hospital. From that point I made him a deal that he would be honest with me and tell me when he was hurt or sick. And in return I would never lecture him or question him about it. I would just make it better and we have both kept up our end of the deal. So when he needs to get an IV or have a needle in him and he can’t handle it I give him some gas and put him to sleep for an hour to two. It’s my job to make him better, not make the trauma worse.”

“Needles and hospitals trigger him.” Hailey said with understanding. She knew that Jay struggled more than the others realised. She kept it to herself, because she knew how private Jay was and it wasn’t something he was still comfortable talking about.

“They do. Jay has worked incredibly hard to get to where he is today. He’s able to be in a hospital and see doctors other than me without having a problem. The only time it becomes hard is when he is really sick. Jay uses a lot of energy throughout the day to keep the walls up in his mind to hold back all of the traumatic memories. Some days it’s easier and some days it’s exhausting. It’s why he has days where he’s more like his old self, he’s relaxed and carefree, makes jokes. And then there are other days where he’s quiet and broody because he doesn’t have the energy for anything else. He has come such a long way from where he started, including having to accept that he’s always going to have the battle with his PTSD. It’s harder when he is sick, his body becomes rundown and he doesn’t have the energy to keep the walls up in his mind. The fever makes his nightmares worse and it’s a drain on him. So be prepared for him to be not as talkative or social, he could also be a little bit irritable as well. It’s just from being exhausted and not sleeping so don’t take it personally.”

“Did he have to spend time in a hospital over there? Is that why he doesn’t like them?” Kim asked.

They all knew that Jay had struggles with his PTSD, they had seen it two years ago. They knew there were days where you just kinda left Jay alone and allowed him to come to you if he wanted to. This was the first time they had ever really seen him sick. They knew he got sick every couple of years but he avoided work for that first week, so they had never really seen him when it was at its worst.

“When Jay returned he was very injured and sick. He had multiple broken bones, severe vitamin D deficiency from not being in the sun for at least six months. He also went from being two hundred pounds of muscle down to a hundred and ten pounds.” Will said.

“Jeeze, what happened to him?” Adam asked, shocked by the amount of weight loss and injuries.

“He’s never said, I don’t even know if he’s allowed to say. But my best guess, he was captured and tortured for months, probably six.” Will said sadly.

“You think he was a POW?” Platt asked with a hurt tone to her voice.

“I think so. His vitamin D deficiency was so bad the only way for it to be that bad was if he was kept in a dark place with no sunlight at all for at least six months. His injuries and the trauma he has correlates with someone that was a POW.” Will explained, sadly. 

“Damn.” Kevin said.

No one really knew what to say to that. To hear that there was a very good chance that Jay, someone they knew and loved, had gone through the horrors of being a prisoner of war. It was a miracle he survived, let alone being able to overcome what he has to be who he is today. 

“Can I sit with him?” Hailey asked. She really wanted to see Jay and just be there for him.

“Ya, he’s going to be asleep for about an hour. When he wakes up he’s going to be a little out of it from the sedative. He won’t be able to drive, but he can go home once he is awake. My shift is over in a few hours and then I’ll pick up his antibiotic and some supplies. I’ll stay with him tonight to keep an eye on his cough and his lungs.”

“Ok, I’ll drive him home once he is awake. I’ll try and get some soup into him.” Hailey said with a warm smile.

“That would be great and if you can get him to shower. The steam will help with his lungs.”

“Got it.” Hailey said with a warm smile.

Will guided Hailey over to where Jay was sleeping. Hailey noticed Will’s doctor’s coat was draped over Jay instead of the hospital bed sheet. Hailey sat down as Will spoke.

“It calms him if he can smell my scent. It grounds him, he can’t be overseas if he can smell me.”

“You’re a good brother.” Hailey said with a warm smile.

“I could have been better. I should have been there for him every time he got off that plane.” Will said with a deep regret in his voice.

“Don’t do that. We all have regrets in life Will, moments we wished we had done something different. Focusing on those regrets will only make you miss what is right in front of you. Jay doesn’t blame you, he let that go. Now it’s time for you to let it go. Jay loves you and he knows you love him. Will, the second he heard your voice today he was different. He calmed down almost instantly and was completely in control again. You did that by just talking. You’re a great brother Will.” 

Will gave Hailey a warm smile back. He was glad that Jay had Hailey in his life. She was a lot better then Erin and he knew they would be something very special together. 

“Thanks Hailey. I have to check on my patients, but I’ll be back to take the IV out.”

Hailey gave a nod and Will headed off to get back to work. Hailey placed her hand in Jay’s and sat there with him. She knew Jay was strong and brave. She knew he was a warrior, but she had no idea just what he had overcome. The strength he had to keep going when so many others would have let it destroy them. He was remarkable and only made Hailey love him more. She had decided when she was out in New York that she not only needed to get back to who she used to be as a cop before everything with Darius Walker happened. But also that she missed Jay more than anything. She knew they had been doing this dance for a couple of years now, but it was time to end it. She had plans of how to tell him, plans that included a sexy piece of lingerie that she picked up in New York for him. Those plans were going to have to be put on hold until he was healthy again. Hailey was fine with that though, he was worth the wait. She would get him through this, just like she always has.

XXX

It was roughly an hour later when Jay let out a soft groan. Hailey knew he was waking up. Will had been in fifteen minutes previously to remove the IV so there wouldn’t be a needle in Jay when he did wake up. Jay instinctively turned his head towards Will’s coat.

“Will.” Jay said with a raspy voice.

Hailey couldn’t help the smile, the connection the two brothers had was very strong. 

“Hey partner.” Hailey said warmly.

Jay took a breath in and opened his eyes. He was a little surprised to see Hailey sitting there with him. A quick look over his shoulder told him that Will had left his coat over him so he wouldn’t be scared when he woke up. 

“Hey.” Jay finally said.

“Will is with a patient, but he said that you could leave once you felt well enough to. You can’t drive, so I can drive you home. And Will is going to come by your place tonight when he’s done his shift.”

Jay gave a nod and he slowly moved to sit up. He hated how he felt after the gas for the next half an hour. It made him feel so groggy and just weird, but it was better than having to feel that needle in his arm for an hour.

“Easy, Will said you would be feeling pretty out of it for the next thirty minutes.” 

“Kenny?” Jay asked, as he slowly moved so he could get his coat.

“Still hanging on. Dr. Marcel is still working on him.” Hailey answered as she got up and grabbed Jay’s coat to help him get it on. 

“Hey, you’re awake. I just want to check your temperature and listen to your lungs before you can head out real quick.” Will said as he walked in.

Jay just gave a nod because it would allow him to get the hell out of here. Will checked his temperature first and was happy to see it was down slightly. 

“102.2, so we’re going in the right direction.”

Will checked Jay’s lungs and was happy to hear that they sounded the same and not worse. If they could get ahead of the pneumonia, they could be able to get Jay over it sooner. 

“Alright, you are good to head out. My shift is over in four hours. I’ll pick up your meds and some supplies and spend the night with you. You know what you need to do so I won’t lecture you on it. Did you drive here? Do you need my car?” 

“I drove. Hails can drive me home.”

“You must be feeling bad if you are going to let me drive your truck.” Hailey said with a smile. Jay didn’t let anyone drive his truck.

“Extenuating circumstances.” Jay said.

He didn’t care who drove his truck right now, he just wanted to get home. 

“Alright, get out of here and I’ll be by in a few hours.” Will said, knowing that Jay needed to get home around his own things.

Hailey stood up and Jay pushed his body up. Will stood close by in case he got dizzy, but Jay was able to hold his own. They all headed out, Will going back to his patients while Jay and Hailey headed out into the waiting room. Intelligence were still there sitting and waiting for an update on Kenny. 

“Hey, how you doing Jay?” Kim asked.

“Great.” Jay said, sarcastically.

“I’m taking him home. Keep me updated.” Hailey said to Voight.

“We’ll let you know. Get some sleep Jay.” Voight said.

“Night Sarg.” Jay mumbled, as they headed for the door. 

They made their way over to Jay’s truck and Jay handed his keys over to Hailey before they got in. Jay instantly sat back and put his head against his headrest as Hailey started the truck. Hailey focused on driving and not talking. She wanted to talk to Jay later back at the apartment about what he said regarding the army, but that could wait until later. Right now Jay needed some time to let the gas wear off fully. When they arrived at his apartment Hailey parked in his spot and they both got out. Hailey went and walked beside Jay, noticing he was a little shaky, just in case he needed some help. Hailey still had his keys so she opened the doors and once they were in his apartment Jay felt like he could relax. He was finally home. 

“I know you probably don’t want to, but Will said you should shower to help with your lungs and you need to eat before you sleep. So why don’t you take a shower while I order us some food?” Hailey suggested.

Jay just gave a small nod as he headed off to his bedroom to grab a change of clothes before he would shower. Hailey pulled out her phone to order the food real quick. Then she turned her attention to Jay’s living room. She could tell he didn’t feel too great last night by the fact he didn't clean up. Jay always kept everything in order, something left over from his military days. He never went to bed with dirty dishes in the sink or a mess on his coffee table. After a quick clean up in the living room Hailey then turned her attention to Jay’s bedroom. She moved his extra pillows from the closet and placed them on his side of the bed, letting him be propped up later. She also made sure he had a box of Kleenex on his bedside table and a water bottle. She then grabbed a spare blanket and brought it out to the couch so he could cover himself up after the shower. With all of that done she took her jacket and boots off and sat down to wait for when Jay was done.

Hailey took a look around his one bedroom apartment and saw it in a new light since she had learnt more about what could have happened to Jay. The apartment was small, only big enough for his bedroom, bathroom and kitchen living room area. He didn’t even have enough room for a dining table and his bedroom was big enough for a double bed and a dresser. The kitchen was a quarter of the size of hers and Hailey had no idea how Jay even cooked anything in it. There was nothing on the walls, no personal photos, no decorations, nothing that said it was a home. Even his furniture was from a second hand store and had seen better days. This wasn't a home and Jay needed a home. She would need to talk to him about it once he was feeling better.

Jay came out of his bathroom dressed in black sweat pants and a t-shirt and black zip up sweater. He made his way over to the couch and sat down on it completely drained. 

“I ordered the food, it should be here soon. Then you can crash I swear.” Hailey said with a warm smile.

“We didn’t get much of a chance to talk today, how were the last couple of days in New York?”

“They were good. I helped OA with a case and his partner was set to come back this week. The flight was good too, no one bothered me.”

“That’s good. I’m sure OA is happy to get his partner back.”

“Are you saying I’m not a fun partner?” Hailey teased.

“No, you said OA used to be a ranger, we don’t like our partners going far without us.”

“You guys had partners?” Hailey really didn't know much about how ranger units worked. 

“Ya we did. So there’s normally thirty rangers in a unit. Within the unit it gets broken down into smaller units that have specialties. I was in the striker unit, with seven other guys. Strikers are the ones that handle the black ops stuff. All eight of us were ranked by a number based on seniority and your partner was the number next to yours, so one and two, three and four etc.”

“Ok, so what number were you?” 

“I was 2IC, second in command.”

“I know you can’t tell me specifics, but what type of operations do rangers go on?”

“We do a lot of raids, assault missions deep into enemy territory, airstrip and plane raids. Basically anything on the ground that is too dangerous for the other divisions to do. Rangers go in and take care of it.”

“Looks like you are more badass than I thought.” Hailey said with a warm smile.

Jay gave a small chuckle to that, but it only resulted in a coughing fit to take over. Hailey got up and grabbed Jay a water bottle from the fridge, opening it before handing it to him. Jay took a few drinks to stop the coughing just as their food arrived. Hailey went to collect it and she brought it into the kitchen to grab what they needed. She got Jay chicken noodle soup and herself a bacon cheeseburger. Hailey brought their food over and placed them down on the table. She handed Jay he’s soup and he took it with a small smile of thanks. 

“I know you’re not hungry, but you need to try and eat a bit of it.”

“I know.”

“Sorry, I know you’ve done this before. Will mentioned this being your fifth time with pneumonia. Though it’s the first time I’ve seen you with it.”

“I normally just tell people I have the flu and take a week off.”

“A week, Will said you would need to be on desk duty for at least six weeks.”

“It’s normally not this bad. It’s worse much faster this time because I was in the rain for two days.”

“Right the military training. Care to tell me how I don’t know that about you?” 

Hailey knew Jay played things close to the chest, but she thought she knew a good amount about him outside of work. She had no idea he was still connected to the military. It seems like something he should have brought up.

“It’s not something I tell people. Will, Voight and the Upper Brass knows that I do, but that’s it. When I have to go away for the weekend and we have a case, Voight keeps me updated. So far that’s only happened a couple of times. It’s not something I tell people.”

“I get that, but I’m not just people Jay. You’re my partner, my best friend. You could have trusted me with this.” Hailey said, slightly hurt. She thought she had broken through these walls, but it seemed like every time she did Jay had five more behind it.

“It wasn't about trust Hails. You are one of the three people I trust most in this world. It’s just, when people find out you were military they do two things. They thank you for your service then they stare at you with either pity or to try and see what is wrong with you. I didn’t even tell the unit I was ex-military. Al figured it out first and then a case told the others. In the beginning I spent a lot of time explaining what classified meant and that I couldn’t really talk about anything. If people knew I was still in the army, it would bring up more questions and I don’t want people questioning my dedication to the CPD.”

“I would never question that Jay. I care about you, I want to know about your military past and anything current. Just like I’m sure Erin did.”

“She didn’t actually.” Jay said with a very small hint of pain.

“What do you mean she didn’t? It’s a huge part of who you were.”

Hailey couldn’t believe that. Being in the military was a huge part of Jay’s life, it made Jay who he was today. How could Erin not have questions or an interest in it?

“She didn’t like hearing about it, about any of it. She wasn’t happy that I was an instructor for them. Whenever a problem came up she was annoyed. When we lived together I spent most nights sleeping on the couch so she wouldn’t be kept awake if a nightmare came up or when I got up in the morning. It drove her crazy that I was up at five in the morning. She didn’t sign up for the life of a soldier. Even after you leave, it doesn’t end. Seen it hundreds of times, girlfriends, wives, they can’t handle it and they leave. Can’t blame them, it’s not easy and it’s a lot to ask someone to deal with.”

“I’m not judging, but if Erin couldn’t handle it, she was the weak one not you. Jay I don’t have blinders on, I know you have PTSD. I know you have more issues than you have told me and I am respecting your pace. I know there will be problems that come up. I’ve seen your PTSD flare up and I know there will be times it could happen again. But I also know what an amazing man you are. Jay, I signed up for the good and the bad with you years ago. I want to hear about your military days. I want to hear about what you are still doing for them. I want to hear about the bad memories and the good ones. You don’t have to hide that from me.”

“I don’t want to hide it.” Jay admitted.

“Good. Do you do it a lot?”

“Not too much, whenever it is needed. And I’ll get pulled in to help with Army Intelligence at times. I always balance it out.”

“I think it’s cool that you are still doing both. I know being in the Rangers was a huge part of your life and who you are. It’s good that you can still be in it and use your skills to teach others. I had no idea you had any medical skills though.”

“I don’t like using them. In the Rangers there’s always a medic in your unit, just like every other unit in the military. For us we needed a second medic in case our medic went down. Someone had to know how to help him. The guys I was with they weren’t really that smart. They were street smart, and Mouse has a gift when it comes to computers, but medicine not so much. I knew some from Will and helping him study for his medical exams while he was in school. Plus I can do complex math in my head so they figured it was close enough.”

“Why don’t you like using the skill?”

To Hailey it seemed like a very valuable skill to have. It certainly was today. At the same time though, she could see the toll it was taking on him. 

“If you are not medically trained, everyone knows that you don’t have the skills to save someone from being shot or blown up. All you are expected to do is help get them to a medic and hope they live long enough. As a medic though, there’s this huge expectation on your shoulders to keep them alive and get them back to a doctor. It’s on you to try and macgyver some medical solution with next to nothing available. Losing someone in that sense is harder than watching them bleed out knowing you can only keep pressure on a wound. When your skills are not enough, the loss is ten times worse. The blame that you put on yourself is ten times worse. You start second guessing every decision you made and if there had been another way you could have saved them. It takes a toll on you.” Jay answered honestly.

“I can’t imagine the level of stress it would put on you or on a medic. To be trained to help save people, but to not be able to do it. I can’t even imagine. I can understand why you don’t like doing it. I know it would bring up some unhappy memories.” Hailey said sympathetically.

“I do have good memories from being overseas. Times where we would all joke around, sitting around the fire at night drinking a beer that the hipsters moonshined up. I’ve delivered five babies, one was even a c-section, all of them lived. I do have good memories, they’re just buried under so much shit, it’s hard to see them.”

“Maybe one day you will be able to see them.” Hailey said, warmly.

“Maybe.”

It was an hour later when Jay had hit the wall and needed to get some serious sleep. Hailey had offered to stay, but Jay had said she needed her own sleep. He promised to text her later to let her know he was alright. Jay crawled into bed and closed his eyes, trying to settle his mind down so he could sleep. It was around three hours later when Will let himself into Jay’s apartment. He had finished up work and he wanted to crash here tonight to make sure Jay’s breathing was ok. Will did his best to be very quiet, as he knew how sensitive Jay’s hearing was. He was always waking up at every little sound, especially a door opening. Will walked into Jay’s bedroom and saw that Jay was not actually asleep.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Will asked.

“Tired. I can’t seem to stay asleep.” 

A coughing fit took over and Will went and grabbed Jay a glass of water as well as two motrin to take. He then went back into the bedroom and handed Jay the glass. Jay drank it as Will moved to the hall closet and pulled out Jay’s weighted blanket. He went back into the room to see that Jay had taken the pills and was laying back down. He looked miserable and Will knew it was not just because he was so sick. Will spread out Jay’s weighted blanket, something he had gotten him a few years ago to help with his nightmares and anxiety from his PTSD. Once Jay had the blanket on him Will removed his shoes and got under the covers himself. He turned so he was on his left side and could face Jay.

“You know the blanket helps, I don’t know why you insist on not using it unless you have to.” Will said, gently.

“I don’t like reminders that I’m broken.”

“You’re not broken Jay. Everyone has scars yours are from war. You’ve been through a lot, more than I know about, but I did see you when you got back from that last tour. I know something horrific happened to you and it’s ok for you to have trauma from it. That doesn’t make you broken. It’s just a piece of you.”

“The last time I operated on someone, he was my friend. He was shot in the chest protecting me on the last tour. We were in the cell, they were hurting me and he ran at them to try and get them to stop. The one combatant shot him and then they held a gun to my head and made me operate on him. He didn’t make it.” Jay said with a shaky voice, as his body started to shake and the tears in his eyes built up. 

Will reached out and pulled Jay into his arms. He moved so he was on his back and he wrapped his arms around his little brother as he let the tears go that he had been holding in since this whole mess started. Jay buried his face in Will’s chest and cried the pain out. Will held onto Jay as he let the tears go. He had a strong belief that Jay had been captured and this had confirmed it. He didn’t say it out right, but he did say in the cell, and that told him all he needed to know. His little brother had been captured and tortured for who knows how long when he was in the military. It was something that had been so traumatic it had caused his PTSD and was still affecting him still to this day. It was a good thirty minutes later when Jay’s tears finally stopped, but neither pulled away.

“Just sleep, it’ll help. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be here if a nightmare appears.” Will said, gently.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. Close your eyes and let the blanket do what it does.”

Jay let out a shaky breath as he closed his eyes. He knew Will was right, he just needed sleep and to allow the blanket to work. Today had been a hard day, but he knew there would be easier days ahead. Will held onto Jay as he slowly fell asleep. This was not how he expected his day to go, but he was glad that Jay had made it through and he would get through him through the night. They were always stronger together and Will was not going to leave Jay trapped in any cell, even a mental one. There was a lot left to be discovered about Jay’s military career and Will was hoping one day he would get to discover more of it. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Alright, this story is complete. Make sure to follow so you can get updates on the next story. Also please check out my fanfiction profile and click on the poll. I want to hear from you what CPD story I should complete first!
> 
> Also make sure to check out the three stories that I found on my Google Drive and let me know if you would like me to continue with them.
> 
> Raising Bella  
> Mr. and Mrs. Donovan  
> Discovering A Legend


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